Tuesday, March 18, 2014

I haven't blogged in two weeks whoops. Cliffhanger! 

Well, I had my ultrasound and the tech couldn't find anything suspicious. She did note a slightly swollen lymph node but couldn't locate the lump. She felt it but just couldn't see it on the screen and she really dug in there with the wand. She said if's a hernia, it was too small to see with an ultrasound but a CT scan would likely find it. At this point, it's no longer a gynecological issue so I have to find a new primary doctor (because my old one was a dude and I'm just not comfortable with him feeling around my lady bits, like a doctor would have to in order to find this hernia, unless it was his specialty) and just go in for a full physical and blood work and have them deal with it. I was hoping to have an answer by now but whatever. Since it's not causing me any discomfort and not even noticeable on a scan, I plan to resume working out today. I will get back into running but not sure about weight lifting. Maybe I'll hold off on that until I get in to see the primary. 

Enough about the lump. Let's talk about Ryder. 

He went in for his 9 month check-up (he's almost 1 - that's how far behind I am in everything) and the doc was concerned about his weight and height. Apparently he's a little shrimp that hasn't grown much since his last visit. UGH. Why is there always some medical thing going on with my precious cargo! Now he (and Jane when she was his age) have always been on the smaller side. He's otherwise very healthy - sleeps good, poops good, is SUPER active, eats well and is meeting all his milestones. The doc wasn't too worried but she did send us to get immediate blood work done. If you haven't held down a screaming 11 month old while they get 4 tubes of blood drawn, you haven't lived.

I did that with Jane and it was a much more pleasant experience so Ryder must've inherited his daddy's fear of needles. The doc said his lack of growth could be due to thyroid issues, anemia or other things. If his blood work comes back normal, then she will write him off as just a hyperactive pipsqueak with a fast metabolism (like me!). For the record, he's 28 inches (which really isn't THAT short) and 16.5-17 lbs. I've googled these measurements and there are a lot of other babies like him out there that have no issues. They just hit growth spurts later on. Which is what I'm obviously hoping for my little man. Now here's the fun part: the doc called me yesterday with some of the lab results but the call went straight to voicemail! I never rec'd a missed call or anything. I actually called the office this morning and they told me that the doc tried calling me yesterday and left a voicemail. I was shocked. The one time my phone fails me. So the doc is with patients all day and I'm waiting for her to call back. 

On the voice mail she said that she wanted to discuss the results with me but that it wasn't an emergency. How does one take that? Okay it's not an emergency but there was obviously something abnormal about his results or else she would've stated otherwise. Right? I don't want to be that annoying parent that calls a million times so I'm patiently (lolz) waiting for her to call back. I've been waiting almost 6 hours. Come on dude...call.me.back. 

Being a mother is the greatest job/responsibility/duty/blessing I can ever ask for. But when it comes to medical stuff, ugh, so hard. When Jane was 9 months old, there were words thrown around like seizures and muscular dystrophy when all she had was a stupid allergy to the dog. I know Ryder will be fine, whatever it is. My little man is a rock. And he won't be little forever! 

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

a setback

I didn't post about this last week because I wanted to know for sure what I was dealing with before sharing.

I found a lump in my groin a little while ago. Obviously I was concerned and may or may not have ugly cried (on my husband's birthday no less) because I was SURE it was cancerous and I was dying. I went on to picture my kids motherless and my husband remarrying and his new wife raising MY kids. More ugly crying ensued. (But don't call me dramatic) Then I woke up later that night and realized how ridiculous I was being.

I realized I was getting ahead of myself and stopped googling (because that never ends well). I made an appointment with my gyno, which was Monday, and while I don't have a definitive answer, I can at least rule out impending death.

When I saw my doctor I mentioned that I had hernia surgery 25 years ago in the same area where the lump currently is. Recurring hernias are rare but they do happen. I also mentioned that the lump can only be felt when standing (a classic hernia sign) and I had recently started lifting weights (10-20 lbs). She ruled out a swollen lymph node and anything more serious based on my answers to her questions (no pain, no discharge/bleeding, irregular bowel movements, medical changes) and gave me a prescription to get an abdominal ultrasound. Now while I am thrilled that I'm not dying, I am not at happy about what this potential hernia diagnosis means. For one, the only treatment is surgery. Here are my issues with that:

1. Anesthesia - what if I don't wake up? Hey, it happens.
2. Recovery - would take at least 6 weeks. I wouldn't be able to lift anything over 10 lbs and would need to 'take it easy'. If you know anything about me, you know that I do not take it easy. I don't think it's even possible.
3. Future pregnancies - what implication will surgery have on getting pregnant within the next year
4. No ab work/weight lifting ever again - at least according to one source. That was shocking to read and I hope it's wrong. I was, up until I discovered the lump, going to the gym regularly and now I've been forced to take a hiatus. Zero exercise until I know what this stupid little thing is and how to treat it.

And we're still not even 100% sure it is a hernia. I have my ultrasound tomorrow so hope to have more answers then. Maybe it'll turn out to be nothing after all. I'm not concerned. Just want to know if/when I can start working out again. Priorities, right?

Friday, February 28, 2014

Good Eats

We've been making lots of changes lately. My hubby has finally embraced a healthy lifestyle and diet. Not that he was bad before but he wasn't as militant as I (once upon a time) was. I wish I could credit myself with the change because I've only preaching it for YEARS but he actually decided to jump on board because all of his law enforcement buddies were doing the same. WHATEVER DUDE. As long as he's doing it, that's all that matters I suppose. (Though I'd like to think I planted the seeds of change). Anyway, we are eating pretty clean these days and have never felt better. We've cut out most of the processed junk and are sticking to whole foods. For a while there, I was consuming an unholy amount of meat/poultry but I'm finally mostly vegetarian at home. We also started juicing and it's delightful. I got him a Breville juicer for his birthday and the clean up is a breeze. We spent a gazillion dollars at Costco picking up a ton of fruit and veggies but, it's the price you pay for good health. Totally worth it. The best part is that juicing fills me up with so many nutrients that it's curbed my cravings for sugar. If you don't know about sugar addiction, thank your lucky stars, because it's as bad as being addicted to cocaine/heroin (google it - I ain't got time for sources). If sugar was outlawed, I'd be the Walter White of my region. Well not anymore since I'm no longer craving sweets but you catch my drift. 

Since I've been cooking and juicing every night (and my dishwasher is broken *smile*), I spend the better part of the day cleaning the kitchen. I really miss having a working dishwasher. Washing everything by hand suuucks. #firstworldproblems But I love being able to provide good healthy meals for my people. 

Here are some recent eats:

If one can overdose on avocado, I'd be well on my way. I am loving it with eggs or sliced and sprinkled with s+p and olive oil. Ryder eats a lot of it too. 
typical snack - when I have time for them

roasted potatoes and spinach avocado pasta. so good!

baked tofu with marinara sauce on the side. big hit. recipe here

black bean spinach burger with edamame and steamed broccoli. this is my go to black bean burger recipe

homemade pizza dough. first time making it and it was SO EASY and tasted way better than store bought dough. I was a skeptic because I'm really terrible with dough. Like, embarrassingly bad but this dough was quick and easy to make. I made it in my food processor and used this recipe, which actually makes two pies. 

roasted veggies using this recipe as a guide

I'm pretty excited about this new leaf we've turned over in our lives. I was pretty down on myself for a long time for not being motivated enough to take care of myself. But with work and child rearing and house chore-ing, I just couldn't find the energy to be bothered. It was literally a prayer I had had on my heart at the end of last year - that God would grant me strength and energy to get back on track- so I'm pumped that it's been answered. Thank you, Lord.  

 (distracted while nursing)


(church nursery)

birthday celebration

(I last blogged a little over a week ago - that's gotta be some kind of record for me. I'm usually only spotted around the full moon or something)

It's probably because we've had a lot going on. For inst, my man had a birthday! The big 3-0! I would've loved to have thrown him a big bash because, that's quite a milestone, but that will have to wait until I don't have kids toddlin' all over the place. Until then, we'll settle for joint birthday parties which is what we had with some of his siblings who also celebrated birthdays in February. For the occasion we drove down to my brother-in-law's house in West Palm Beach and had ourselves a good time. 

Babies and sliding glass doors = the best shots you will ever take in your parenting life. 

For comparison, here is Jane two years prior:

Too much. 

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

What we've been up to lately...

I recently rediscovered Instagram and am looooving it (here I am). It's like the best of Facebook and Twitter rolled into one. I am really tired of FB (isn't everyone?) but if I deactivated my account (again), I would lose touch with a lot of people and I'm not ready to do that yet. Nobody talks on the phone anymore (remember talking to your BFF's for hours on end on the landline? good times) so I wouldn't know what my family and friends were up to. But I'm slowly moving away from posting on FB and sticking to IG and this blog.

We went to a local fair this past weekend and it was awesome! I grew up going to the fair a lot and have fond memories of all the rides and the food. Let's be real - the food is the best part. We had corn dogs, funnel cakes and cotton candy. The hubby and I rode a roller coaster and while half of me was excited, the other half was hoping/praying the coaster wouldn't go off the tracks. If you didn't know, carnivals have horrible safety records. Jane was just tall enough to ride most of the kiddie rides and she had an absolute blast. The girl loves driving cars! There was also a petting zoo which included a giraffe. I had mixed feelings about that because I don't want to support animals in captivity but on the other hand, Jane loved it and got to feed most of the animals, including the giraffe. She was so cute, talking to each animal "here you go, boy."

My brother and SIL were in town recently. We don't get to see them too often even though they're only 2 hours away so we like to soak up as much time with them as possible. Jane loves when they visit too because she knows they always stop at our favorite cupcake place! It was cold when they visited so we hung out by the fire pit at night and had lunch at a huge hotel nearby (on a pirate ship!).

And some stragglers

The kids' birthdays are (is?)  in two months. Quickly approaching and all I have is a tentative date for the joint party. I've been pinning ideas and may settle on a princess/pirate theme but it depends how much work that will involve. With Jane, I had her party planned months in advance. Looking through her pics, I'm now realizing how much I have to do (making ryder's healthy smash cake, making a birthday banner with both their names, making a little banner for the highchair, buying a pinata). I guess I better get my party planning in gear! Not sure where I'll find the time though.

Last night Ryder woke up at 3 am. He's been sleeping through the night and not waking up until 5 so I don't know what was up with him last night. I let him cry it out for two hours with occasional check-in's until I finally gave in and nursed him at 5. It sucked being awake for two hours waiting for him to fall back asleep. I lower the baby monitor to avoid the cries waking the hubby but I won't fall asleep until I can raise the volume again, which means Ryder has to fall back asleep before I can. Which means I drank a full cup of (decaf) coffee this morning even though I've been drinking just tea lately. As I surfed my phone in bed last night, I heard this weird mechanical hum coming from outside/everywhere. I thought it was a plane and then an idling car but quickly ruled those out since the humming continued for over 45 mins. At some point I was thinking "please don't be aliens." The mind of a 3 am'er.